ORGANIC, FREE RANGE PEOPLE
Last night, sitting around my house talking with my flatmates and I discussed the world of dating and how utterly shite it is. Comparing stories and awful pick up attempts, we all lamented that online dating was terrible and tedious, but likely the only way to meet someone at the moment. It struck a thought into my head.
Is it still possible to meet someone 'organically?'
I'm not talking about meeting someone who shares your passion for organically sourced, free range kale and stuff, I'm talking about meeting someone who you'd like to date, without heading online.
Online dating is most definitely the number one way to find dates, if you're in your twenties. Tinder and OKC pop up as most popular, but basically "if you ain't online, you ain't eligible". The appeal of deliberately making a dating profile is that you are clearly looking for something, 100% on the market - there is no confusion about whether you're seeing someone, whether you're ready to date. You're out there with a big red sign on your forehead practically screaming PICK ME, I HAVE MINIMAL BAGGAGE AND IM PRETTY SURE I'M CHILD FREE.
After stating my utter disdain for the world that is Tinder dating, most of my friends told me 'Just meet someone in real life!'. My mother, my boss, and my barista all said the same thing.
But I thought, is this still a realistic situation? Is this actually a viable option for the single woman, wanting to find a nice lad?
Back in time before the internet had stolen all of our souls, meeting someone in an off chance situation was common. I asked some people I know who are in their 40s how they met their partners.
'I met him at a pub'
'We kept going to the same cafe and he asked me out one day'
'I met her because she was mates with my flatmate'
'I asked her about the book she was reading on the bus'
To be perfectly honest, if a random person asked me out at a cafe, with no warning, I'd likely bolt away, clutching my black gold.
Has society and it's incessant stress of 'stranger danger' ruined meeting people organically? I think back to all the times a random someone has complimented me, or struck up a conversation and I remember feeling unsettled, cautious, and a little creeped out.
Has the world of 'meet cutes' disappeared forever down the drain of creepiness?
It seems like, to meet someone offline there needs to be that whole degrees of separation thing. Friends of friends, flatmates, or meet them at work. My last three boyfriends went Work, Tinder, Work. And shockingly (cough), none of them worked out.
It leaves me with the impression that perhaps meeting someone in an unexpected manner, may be the better option. That instead of working to portray the best, most filtered version of myself on an online profile and endlessly swiping in a superficial app, I should just chill the fuck out and see what the world brings.
The idea that we should continue to just work on ourselves, spend our time doing things that we enjoy and not be always actively looking for the next eligible guy, is very appealing. The stress we put on ourselves to always be searching for that one awesome person can be counter productive and lead to low self esteem, and essentially make the entire process a bit more of a bitch.
It allows you the time to figure out what you actually value, and want from your next relationship. Mine, mines pretty easy. I want someone who can give and take some shitty jokes, isn't emotionally stunted, likes dogs & dinosaur movies, is genuine and thoughtful, and will let me be the big spoon. BAM.
So basically, I'm giving the whole organic dating thing a chance, along side the online stuff. As a fun adventure I'll say. Because lets face it, the world of right swipes and bad pick up lines will still be there if all this crashes in a blaze of flames.