I HAVE THREE AVOS AND NO MONEY

 

I'M IN MY MID TWENTIES AND I HAVE NO MONEY.

 

It's never so heart achingly clear that you are in fact a bit shit at life, when you realise that you are at the age where it's totally fucking normal that all your friends are getting engaged and buying houses and planning for babies.

People have come back from their OEs in London and have shacked up with someone and started life. Questions about term deposits and investing and cabinet ministers and 'did you hear that Sarah from School just had twins?', are so frequent now that you realise that you're actually a real person in society now.

 

I feel like Suzy Kato could have prepared me better for the fact that people will judge my by the state of my bank account and ovaries and NOT my imagination skills, like she led me to believe.

That bitch.

 

I had a chat with some friends the other day and we had the thought, when do you actually start saving for the big things? Like a wedding and a house or a baby? Big things that take planning. Is it extremely weird and desperate to have a savings account for a one day wedding if you're single? Like one day you'll decide to get married, right? What, do you then have to start saving and try and get enough before the date for all the deposits? Or take out a big loan or chuck it all on the credit card and start your life together drowning in debt from one party where your racist Uncle Karl fell into the drinks table?

 

I started to have a bit of a panic.

I was always a bit reckless with my money. I paid my bills and bought groceries, but then the rest was fun money. When I was really young, a bank gave me a credit card and I made some reckless mistakes that I'm still dealing with now, and and I fully accept that is my own fault. There were no savings unless  had a trip or a bond or something to actually fork out for.  I got better for a while, but then I got dumped and decided that me having fun and going for lots and lots of drinks was in fact, a smarter idea then say, an emergency fund.

 

But as my friends and family one by one moved forward with their lives, found houses they loved, people they loved, or unfortunately get struck with unexpected illness,  begun to realise that i've fallen behind in the ways of being an adult.

If I woke up tomorrow with an excruciating pain with a black as fuck tooth, I wouldn't be able to go to the dentist and have it ripped out because I have no money and no credit and despite having a good job, I actually live paycheck to paycheck a lot of the time. I spent $1520.90 at Glassons ALONE last year. 

 

It honestly scared me to the core when I realised that I was being so utterly stupid. For someone who is relatively on top of her shit most of the time,  I was failing in a huge way. Do all young people have no money?? Turns out, no. 

 

I frantically typed into google 'how to budget help me pls' and it came up with a million things. I decided to just ask around and see how everyone else I knew managed their money.  I compiled a great list of recommendations that i'll pop at the bottom of this post.

Being in my twenties in this day and age has basically shut down a few options that were available for previous generations, every millennial knows that. It will be hard for me to buy a home that's big enough and in a central location to a city. Jobs are unreliable and student loan debt is crippling. Sure, I waste a lot of money, but I know people who scrimp and save and only brew coffee at home and only eat food from home and they still can't afford a house in any of the major suburbs of Auckland.

 

I still don't know exactly what I'm saving for - I don't know about a house, and I'm still in a new relationship so can't really plan for a wedding, but I know I need to get my shit in some semblance of order. I need to be able to provide for my dogs one day.

 

SO, HERE'S THE LIST OF TOP FIVE MONEY TIPS FROM MILLENNIALS TO OTHER MILLENNIALS.

 

1. Get your spending money out in cash. You won't want to break a fifty to buy a four dollar coffee and YOU CANT ONLINE SHOP.

2. Separate your bank accounts - emergency fund, short term saving, long term saving, bills, and spending.

3. Make a damn budget. Over plan so you always have a little bit extra in each account in case of hidden fees, unexpected payments etc. Also never give up buying coffee, fuck it good coffee is so worth it. 

4. Don't go to a bar with all your money on a card with paywave. PAYWAVE IS SO BAD WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK.

5. Have little blowouts with your short term saving or your spending money so you don't go crazy one day and waste it all on a pair of yeezys.

 

I'm still going to have brunch. The boomers may take my job, they may take my spirit, but they'll never take my eggs.