TINY HUMANS

A lot of people seem to be real concerned about my vagina. 

 

It's not deformed or anything, but people seem to have lots of opinions about what I should do with it, and what I should push out of it. 

 

Namely babies, not aliens or something. 

 

Am I meant to be thinking about babies? I'm in my mid twenties, and according to all the world my hooha is hitting prime time and should be prepping for inhabitation. Talking to my friends about this, they are all aware of whether they want kids or not. Some even have names they like, ideas about where they will move to when that have a family AND THEY'RE STILL CURRENTLY SINGLE. 

 

God, the thought of this just strikes fear into my cold dead heart. 

 

It seems oddly sexist to me that my vagina, my sex life, and my family plans are seen as appropriate topics to talk casually about in many situations. People hear my age, the fact that I'm in a serious relationship, and their brains go immediately to marriage and babies. 

 

'Have you thought about when you'll have kids?' - note that they ask WHEN, not IF. 

 

As far as I know, currently I don't want kids. I know for certain, at least not for 10 years. That part I know. I don't know if I might change my mind, I don't know what will happen in the future, with me or my partner. Maybe I'll get accidentally pregnant and decide to keep it - I don't know the future. 

 

The part that bothers me, is the fact that my views are seen as childish, immature, rash, and just plain wrong. I've had people tell me to my face multiple times "You're making a huge mistake, don't be stupid". 

Don't you think it's odd people are telling a 24 year old that they're ruining their life by choosing to NOT have kids? I'm twenty fucking four, I can barely look after myself. I live in a flat with 5 other people! 

 

I've always had this thought in my head, for as long as I can remember when I used to think about my life. Kids just were never what I pictured? I've always wanted to get married, have a couple dogs, and just never thought of myself as a mum. I love my baby sister, so very much. I love playing with her, and hugging her and making her laugh. I like looking after her and watching her grow - I really do understand the appeal of having one of your own. It must be so awesome to teach a little human stuff and have them grow up looking like a mash of you and someone else awesome - it sounds lovely! And you get to pick a cool name and do fun activities and you have something that loves you so much.

 

It's rad, and I think people that have kids are rad. 

 

I don't like the fact that I'm seen as a silly little girl for choosing to be selfish and have my life the way I want it.  When I explain the parts of having kids that have put me off, people try and convince me that these things are so small and minimal and I'm being an idiot - wow ok great thanks for devaluing my life choices and undermining my intelligence. 

 

It becomes apparent, when people ask me and my partner if we ever want kids - that it comes across like I am the one that's convinced him to not want kids. That because I have the baby growing ability, that I am the awful witch that has stolen his chances for lineage. Why is this put on me, because I'm a woman? If a man is dead set on being a bachelor with no kids, it's generally more accepted than a woman that wants to be on her own, with no children. What a waste right? 

 

When you ask people if they want kids, or when they're having kids - think about the implications of your 'harmless question'. They could have been trying to have kids for years. They could have a condition where they can't have any kids, ever.  They might have lost children in the past. Even if these aren't the reasons - it isn't your business anyway.

 

Why does it matter to you, as a human, as a person, what I choose to do with my bits? My vagina ain't for you mate. It's for fun, and unfortunately for periods - whomp whoooomp. 

 

I don't feel like listing my reasons for not wanting kids, and I shouldn't really have to. It's cool that so many people I know are choosing to have babies as we hit this stage of life, and I think it will be nice to be able to hang out with them and their tiny people - I respect their decisions, because they aren't mine. 

 

When you reduce my life down to having kids or not having kids, you're reducing my life down to me being only my uterus. I'm more than my reproductive parts: I'm also my emotionally unstable brain, my slightly too hairy face, my giant bum, my perhaps too intense desire to own my own racoon.  

 

Maybe one day I'll change my mind. 

Maybe one day I'll adopt a kid. 

Maybe one day I'll find out I'm pregnant at 6 months, like my mother, and then I will adapt and change. 

 

But maybe you should leave that up to me, and my insidey bits.