LIFE TIPS & TRICKS TO KEEP YOU SANE
I may not be put together, I don't have clear skin, and it takes me five full minutes to get my jeans on in the morning - but theres one thing I am, and thats one organised bitch.
I'm obsessed with lists, calendars, and notebooks/diaries. I write errrrything down. Because of this somewhat annoying habit of mine, I also tend to hoard weird rituals and life tips because I'm usually too lazy to do things the proper way.
So what better, than sharing all my weird gross girl tips with you! Some of these aren't exactly 'tips' - but things that may make life a little bit easier.
- Sometimes, being a girl, when you're on a date and you're wearing tight jeans or pants, things get sweaty. It's gross, but it's just the truth. If you feel like you're going to get lucky when you go home on the night, and you want to freshen up - heres my tip.
Bring a wee zip lock baggy in your handbag, and store a spare pair of underwear and a baby wipe in it. Sneak off to the bathroom before you leave the bar/restaurant, and wipe and change your undies. BAM. Instant freshness and no awkward moment when you take your pants off.
- I always used to tell dates I was coming straight from work, and then go home and get ready anyway. Then they thought I just looked that good and put together all the time, even after work. Lull them into a false sense of security, then ease them into the real you aka: grotty gremlin with pimple cream. Fooled ya.
- If you have trouble being on top during sex and you feel super awks - don't bounce up and down (ow, my thighs) - grind back and forth. Back and forth. I'm tellin ya.
- PEE AFTER SEX. EVERY TIME. Seriously, for both guys and girls this helps prevent UTIs and if you don't feel like pissing razorblades, this is key.
- The best relationship tip I have: Keep a running list in your notes app, of things your partner says or brings up that they like, want, or need. Then you always, always have a back up list if you need a present, forget Valentines day, or you just want to be lovely. I.e They like peanut M&Ms, they need a new hairdryer, that PS4 game they want but they can't afford. THIS IS THE BEST THING I EVER DID. It made me pay way more attention in my relationship and it actually works.
- I do winged eyeliner everyday. I am fairly good at it now, it takes me about 10 seconds per eye. Its easier if you draw the corner/wing first, THEN fill it in and draw the lash line. Then you can make the wings match without having to wipe off the entire line if you fuck up.
See right for example.
- Primer -> Powder -> THEN foundation. Fool proof lasting make up.
- Nivea Mens Sensitive After Shave Balm is the best primer. I'm actually serious, and it's only $11.
- Rosehip oil will change ya life. Massage into face after cleansing and moisturising.
- Stand in front of windows. Always good lighting, always fixes skin tone problems.
- A Colour Story is the best editing app I've ever used. I paid for all the packs but the free ones will help you up your photo game IMMENSELY. See below for the Before/After using Colour Story.
- Minimise the background of photos. Opt for plain walls, not clutter, light colours. No one wants to see crap behind you, and it takes away from your beaut face.
- A good fake laugh will CHANGE YOUR LIFE in photos. Don't pretend to laugh, actually laugh - almost perfect happy photos every time.
- Thirst traps. Figure out your best asset and utilise it. Mine is my bum so I've learned the best angles to take photos from to show it off. Don't get SUPER CLOSE UP, be subtle. It is also fun to utilise emojis for coverage. Keep your face out of it, just in case.
Also don't let anyone tell you that thirst traps don't work, because they DO and they make you feel so confident and just so bangin. And you are.
LIFE IN GENERAL:
- Eat donuts upside down, because then YOU GET THE ICING FIRST YAAAS.
- If you can work out at lunchtime, do it. It eliminates the "Im too tired" excuse that you can use in the morning or after work.
- The password motivation trick. A friend told me that when she was dieting, she changed one of her daily passwords to "10kgWeightLoss" so she had to remind herself multiple times a day why she was actually dieting, and to stick to her guns. You could also use things "SaveForHouse" or "BeHealthyFeelBetter" or "HeAintShit".
Better living everyone.
(Am I allowed to say that or will I get sued?)