REINVENTION AND ME
I feel like sometimes, in the world of blogging, and "being an influencer" and all that weird shit - there is a lack of self. I read endless posts about this product, and this amazing event and that amazing store and it's just ongoing forever and ever - but theres no feels. There's nothing personal, because personal doesn't generate views, and views generate revenue. No one tells you when they're struggling, or happy, or just flailing through life.
The brutally sad fact is, no one gives a shit about your personal life unless you're famous. Or they're you're friends and family, then they kind of have to.
I feel like I can't compete, my instagram is full of personal photos and not stylised versions of my breakfast, my house isn't aesthetically pleasing enough to mention, and my clothes are $25 crap from Glassons - not worthy of a share.
I can't offer you advice on what not to wear, what trends are cool, can't give you the inside goss about a fancy party or opening - I'm just normal and heart achingly average. I straight up buy the rip off versions of expensive things, cause my $2 Ali Express versions of $400 Karen Walker sunnies do me just fine mate. Last night I ate bread and dip for dinner. #RoleModel
But I like life. I like reading about life, and hearing personal stories and seeing people's family and friends on Instagram. Sure, I do love the stylised, aesthetics of those posed grams too but I find myself gravitating to people that share MORE and have real, actual human experiences.
And that's what I want to share with YOU- my online family. Aka my favourite stalkers.
My life is in the midst of huge change right now, and it's been a long time coming. Have you ever just sat down and realised that you just so badly wanted to change everything you're about? To actually do the things you've waffled on about for years. To move towards the version of yourself that you REALLY want to be? The best, baddest bitch you.
Well, that's my life right now.
I'm sick of looking at people on my instagram, and wishing that I could have that hair, to have that style, to have that much confidence. Look, I'm just deciding I'm done with that.
I'm sick of buying clothes that I don't really love, because I know it suits me and because I know it will look just fine. I'm dealing with shitty, damaged to fuckery hair because I'm too scared to go make a change and ay the money to have hair I actually like.
I've already started on the FIX MY SHIT SKIN crusade and have booked in medical grade treatments, and implemented new ACTUAL skincare - not shit I picked up from New World for $8 and figured it would do.
I've booked in the expensive haircut and colour and you bet your ass I'm going to enjoy spending that money, because it's for ME.
I'm pinterest-ing the FUCK out of some clothing inspo, and I'm going to stop buying stuff I will hate in 2 weeks time.
What I've come to see is that, I need to have more respect for myself. To put the things I want to change in high priority, and not just get to them 'when I have the money or the time' - Look, I'm almost 25 I need to sort my shit before I'm old. Old-er.
Bitch is on an actual rampage.
So why the hell am I telling you this stuff, I can hear you thinking.
Well you sassy fuck, I'm telling you because I can see in some of you, that you are like me. You always think that theres time later, or it's not that bad, or it's not that important. Look, it is important.
Respect for yourself is important.
Being a person you actually LIKE is important.
Feeling confident more days than you feel insignificant is REALLY important.
Honestly, I encourage you to kickstart your life into a place that you are happy with. This isn't about emulating your life to fit someone else's, it's not entirely appearance based either - I'm going to be spending some time actively trying to not hate myself so much.
My boyfriend says all this sweet shit to me every damn day, and I always laugh and pull an ugly face at him because I don't believe him. Well maybe next time he says it, I'll just say thank you and remember that next time I have a cry in front of the mirror.
I'm gonna take more photos of shit I like, going to listen to music that I fucking like and I dont care if anyone else does (my daily mix is LITTTT), and I'm going to make changes that I fucking want because I don't need to wait for approval or the right time.
The right time is whenever the fuck I decide it is.