SELF TIMERS & PRETENDING TO BE HOTTER THAN I ACTUALLY AM

A long time ago, I read an article about social media. It was about people who live pay check to pay check and go into huge amounts of debt, just to maintain their online presence and gain all dem sweet, sweet followers. 

 

It detailed one woman who had one side of her apartment immaculate, perfectly designed, and she used that side of the place for all her photos and posts. But directly opposite, the other side of the apartment was squalor - rubbish everywhere, her bed was a mattress on the floor, and she had no money for heating or even real curtains. Another woman has her fridge filled entirely with Fiji Water and Raw juices, because she has to keep up appearances, but she's actually too poor to buy anything else too - so she just sticks with them instead of like, buying a burger and feeling some shred of happiness. 

 

I was like "fucking hell, thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard", then I went on with my normal life. 

 

But I've realised, I kind of totally do the same thing. Not to that extent, jesus - but similar. I'm pretty fucking sure most people do to be honest. 

Lets take this photo. 

I posted this photo and it went well, people thought I was funny, were glad I didn't just pose with the wine etc etc.

 

But the reality is, I took this photo because I had pimple cream on my face, hadn't washed my hair for 3 days, and did not want to get out of my fat pants.

 

People also thought I got my boyfriend to take the photo, like an instagram husband - NOPE he went out to get groceries and I had a 20 minute window to set up my phone on our dresser, leaning up against an UE Boom, then a 10 SECOND window to sprint to bed and throw my arms up in the air, AND cover my face to hide the pimps. 

 

I planned this photo out, took more than 15 sets of photos, made my bed 'artfully messy', sprinted between phone and bed - just because I am FUCKING LAZY. 

 

What about this one? 

 

It's a typical, posed "bitch I am goin OUT and I've put on nice clothes for once" shot, that a lot of women do. I look pretty thin (in my eyes), showing just the right amount of tatas, and I'm wearing a nice enough outfit. This is what we call in layman's terms, "a thirst trap". 

 

THE REALITY WAS: I was single at this time, and I wanted to make myself look juuuust saucy enough that the guy I liked would message me. It took about 10 minutes to get this photo, and my back actually hurt from trying to simultaneously pop my ass out, and suck my stomach in. 

 

I am not this thin. My waist is not this small. I am covering my face with my phone because I legit had a poop face on from sucking in my stomach so hard. If I turned towards the front, the photo would look entirely more plain and regular. But I wanted to look better than I actually do, basically false advertising. Am I a catifsh? Maybe a little, back in the day. 

 

Almost everything you see on Social Media, is there for a reason. Candid photos taken at just the right moment, are usually 100% hella fake I'm sorry to tell you. That immaculate bedroom or dresser, or brunch picture was orchestrated that way, everything perfectly placed to create the most shareable, aesthetically pleasing thing evaaa - then immediately after it's taken, it goes back to looking like the most ordinary thing in the world. 

 

If I'm laughing in a photo, theres a large chance I've fake laughed out loud to try and get the perfect "smiling but not cheesy fake smile" picture. 

 

God, the reason for this post isn't meant to make me seem incredibly fake - which I realise I totally look like a fake loser right now, (shit),it's to give you an insight into the world of blogging, social media promo, and the "paid to be aesthetic" world. Don't worry so much about comparing yourself, and your life to someone on Instagram- theres a 90% chance that that's not their life either. 

 

This photo is straight up ON MY KITCHEN FLOOR to get the right background. GET ON MY LEVEL. 

Kidding.